This is an article written in 2008, so some of the “facts” are wrong, like about Gay Marriage licenses, but it’s still relevant to today. I recommend any gay men reading this post, read the article that I Sourced at the bottom of this…
Anyway, the name of the article is “Are Gay Relationships Different”, and it basically talks about gay relationships, and why when gay people are ABOUT to break up, gay men, there’s nothing there holding them FROM breaking up. you see, marriage for example is more than an institution, I tried to explain this to my ex a while ago. Yes, sanctioned by the government, and religious institutions, but ALSO sanctioned and accepted by society as something that should be saved.
This means, that society, for example families, and therapists, will try to SAVE your relationship, talk you into keeping it if they know you’re happy, or at least for financial reasons. Gay people, ESPECIALLY gay men do not have this. Gay male relationships are still today seen by even the most liberal individuals as something that’s not normal. People can lie, and say they accept gay men for who they are, but their faces mostly tell the true story….I’ll leave it at that..
What really bothered me about this article is how it’s an age old story. These two men broke up, and nobody tried to save them, they had no financial reason to stay together, and their issues were the same as a straight couple’s at the same point in their relationship. It’s amazing how much money, and family means to one’s relationship, even when you don’t realize it. Having children is also a factor, but gay men rarely get that opportunity.
I’d hate to debate someone with this issue of “gay adoption”, marriage and child rearing because they never understand. The Due Process clause is there for a reason, why should I 1. Have to travel to obtain the same rights, why should I 2. Have to have different rights in different states, what if my husband and I travel, and he get’s sick? Or what if my job moves me to another state…if either of those situations has us go to a state where we’re not equal, then we’re FLOABW fucked..but I digress…there are so many things that a socially conscious gay male can see that are problems with our community. I disagree with this article about non-monogamy, I think it’s bullshit, even though it’s present, but that’s me..
It was sad that this guy was with a man 12 years, and they fell apart that easily…then he used the whole “we were too young” card. I disagree again, because if you’re in love who cares about your age, there are seniors who were together forever. If something make you happy, you live once. Why be in a relationship in your 20s looking forward to breaking up?
My main point here is this though, we have many hurdles to over come as gay men. I won’t speak on lesbians because I’m not one. What I will do is say that we as gay men need to refocus on what matters. We should want the gay males growing up to come into a different gay community different from the 70s, 80s and 90s gays…they don’t need that. It’s sad that so many gay men HAVE to turn toward the gay community and loose themselves in it, because they lost they’re families. This is why the gay community is important…I honestly believe it will get better in the next 15yrs, look at the progress we made in from 2003(Lawrence v Texas) to today..we’ll get there…